Saturday, January 5, 2013

The American dream is over, stay in your god damn countries!




Every time I meet someone during my travels, I always end up discussing about Canada, because Yes! That’s where I am from. Foreigners and people abroad have this deep belief that on the continent of "North America" money, success and women grow on trees. Somehow, I still get shocked by the ignorance. I shouldn't be surprised really because it’s only human to think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, but who can blame them?

No matter where you go, prices are fixed according to salaries; meaning that even if you make more money in North America, you will end up spending more anyways. What i mean by "North America" is the fact there is little or no distinction between the United States of America and Canada. If there weren't borders and signs, you wouldn't even know where you are after a 48 hour drive south; it is really that similar.

As always, let's begin with a Wikipedia definition to explain what i mean by American Dream:

The American Dream is a national ethos of the United States, a set of ideals in which freedom includes the opportunity for prosperity and success, and an upward social mobility achieved through hard work. In the definition of the American Dream by James Truslow Adams in 1931, "life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement" regardless of social class or circumstances of birth.

This is not waiting for you in Canada!


The older generation still reminds the new one that the "American Dream" is still out there, and all they have to do is to go there in order to reach it. What I find funny, is that nowadays most foreigner that go to America, come back disappointed. What did you expect? A limousine waiting for you at the airport? Being treated like a rock star rather than a dirty foreigner? You got your facts wrong, son!

This is how my typical conversation looks like in Europe:

- "Hello"

- "Hi"

- "Where are you from?"

- "I am from Poland"

- "Cool! I am from Canada"

Suddenly the foreigner's eyes start to glow. As he is looking back with interest he says:

- "Ohhh! I have always wanted to visit Canada, my aunt (or uncle) lives there, why did you come to this shithole?"

- "Because, I am happier here"

- "How come?"

- "Girls are prettier, life is cheaper and I can afford to go out more often"

- "Come on! In Canada I am sure people make tons of money and there are plenty job opportunities"

- "The American dream ended in the 90's"

- "But I am pretty sure people have better living standards in Canada than they do in Poland"

- "It’s true, but if you are somewhat ambitious and desire to live life to the fullest, Canada isn't perhaps the best place"

- "You know the kind of salary Polish people make?"

- "Canada is only good for lazy immigrants who don't have to work for a living and this at the expense of our tax system. The moment you want more, is the moment you realize that Canada isn't exactly the best place to make a fortune. Why do you think so many Canadians travel to the US for work?"

- "But your salaries allow you to buy more things"

- "Not necessarily, one night out in my city (Montreal) probably costs about 100$, in Poland you can go out and get wasted for only 50zl (the equivalent of 20$ CAD)"

- "What is the average Canadian salary?"

- "Somewhere ranging from 1300$ to 1600$ a month. As you can see, its quite proportional to our lifestyle. Our biggest downfall is the fact that we get credit cards and lines of credit without much effort making the average canadian in debt 35,000 $"

This guy found it, but don't expect to be so lucky.


Let's look at some figures comparing Canada and Poland:

- 1 Canadian dollar (CAD) is equivalent to about 3,3 Polish Zloty (Zl)

A) In Canada, to rent a small apartment costs somewhere between 300-600$ a month.
B) In Poland, to rent the same apartment would cost somewhere around 1200-1600zl (equivalent to 400-600$ CAD a month).

A) In Canada, food supplies for one month cost around 500$.
B) In Poland, food supplies for one month cost around 500zl (equivalent to 200$ CAD)

A) In Canada, One night out can cost from 50 to 150$.
B) In Poland, one night out can cost from 50 to 150zl (equivalent to 20-50$ CAD)

A) In Canada, one bus ticket costs 3$.
B) In Poland, one bust ticket costs 3zl (equivalent to 1$ CAD)

A) In Canada, the average salary is about 1500$.
B) In Poland, the average salary is about 1500zl.

A) In Canada, healthcare is free, but the waiting time is exceptionally long.
B) In Poland, healthcare isn't free but you sure don't wait 12 hours at the emergency.

Don't worry comrades, we're both getting fucked!


The best ones for last:

A) In Canada, a bottle of beer is 6$.
B) In Poland, a bottle of beer is 3zl (equivalent to 1$ CAD).

A) In Canada, 5km taxi ride to the center costs 30$.
B) In Poland, a 5km taxi ride to the center costs 30zl (equivalent to 10$ CAD)

A) In Canada, a pack of cigarettes is 11$.
B) In Poland, a pack of cigarettes is 11zl (equivalent to 3$ CAD).

If we sum up (using the average):

A) In Canada: 1500$ - 500$ (Small flat) - 500$ (Food) = 500$ spending money after vital expenses.
B) In Poland: 1500zl - 500zl (One room) - 500zl (Food) = 500zl spending money after vital expenses.

A former neurologist (left), tax lawyer (center) and astronaut (right). Archives - Canada 2012
 

We can conclude that living standards are higher in Canada, but everyday common things are overpriced. The average Polish person can afford to go out every weekend despite having a minimum salary job unlike the average Canadian who can only afford to do so once in a while. In the end, it’s pretty much all the same. So stop comparing your country to "America"; the American dream is long gone.

Peter.M
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LetsNotBullShit Blog by Peter Masalski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://letsnotbullshit.blogspot.com/.


Video games don't make me stupid, you do!



As a 15 year old kid, there isn't much one can do except going to school, spending time with friends and oversleeping on the weekends. Before I realized that there was such a thing as "girls", I spent most of my days playing video games. I could immerse myself in the experience and entirely forget my troubles, unlike people which often troubled me more than any violent first person shooter ever has. However, people in my entourage always seemed to look down upon video games as if it was some kind of disease which would lead me to loneliness and despair. I never listened to any of them and it seems that I was right. I don't give a shit about what people think; I will keep playing video games until kingdom come.

Most of the time, I hear complaints from old geezers, middle aged folks and women who seem to have so many valid arguments against video games,  yet I haven’t heard a single one which didn't sound like this: "video games are stupid", oh right! like coloring your fingernails is any better. Could it be that you don't accept certain things because you don't understand them? What if I provided your ignorance with some scientific clarity to counteract your shitty arguments? What if i told you, that on top of being awesome, they also increase fluid intelligence.
 
What is fluid intelligence?

Fluid intelligence or fluid reasoning is the capacity to think logically and solve problems in novel situations, independent of acquired knowledge. It is the ability to analyze novel problems, identify patterns and relationships that underpin these problems and the extrapolation of these using logic. It is necessary for all logical problem solving, e.g., in scientific, mathematical and technical problem solving. Fluid reasoning includes inductive reasoning and deductive reasoning.

Here are a few articles from various websites on the topic including a youtube video proving that video games aren't such a waste of time after all:



·         http://kotaku.com/5457590/us-navy-video-games-improve-brains-fluid-intelligence
·         http://www.examiner.com/article/video-games-improve-speed-and-intelligence
·         http://classroom.wsj.com/cre/2012/01/20/qa-videogames-and-iq/
·         http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2010-01/navy-says-video-games-can-boost-fluid-intelligence-warfighters
·         http://www.complex.com/tech/2011/11/researchers-believe-gaming-increases-iq-scores
·         http://science.dodlive.mil/2010/01/26/adults-benefit-from-playing-video-games-podcast/




The list is endless...really...


Not only has it been proven to increase fluid intelligence, but IQ scores as well. Some tests have even concluded that it might increase thinking speed and reflexes depending on the type of game.

Do only nerds play video games?

My guess is that if you are a social reject, video games are a form of isolation and perhaps even a cure for depression, but overall that’s far from the truth. I am pretty sure that famous football players still enjoy a game of FIFA once in a while, and the amount of chicks they get is indescribable.

Messi playing Playstation. What a fucking loser!


What kind of video games do girls play?

According to all those I have left heart broken, the only video games my ex-girlfriends have ever played weren't very ambitious. These games included Super Mario Bros, The Sims and occasional sport multiplayer with their baby brother. If you compare strategy games, adventure games and stealth games to the likes of these, I am not surprised that their opinion of video games stooped so low. There is no comparing games such as "StarCraft" and "Civilization" to your average platformer. So, bitch please! Get experienced before we debate about vgs okay?

Don't talk about video games, just stick to the foreplay.


What kind of video games do seniors and middle aged adults play?

None! The old generation was raised in very specific conditions whereas we had the liberty to choose our religion, our beliefs and opinions without having institutions controlling what is right and wrong. My dad who claims that alcohol is healthier than marijuana couldn't be further from the truth. There is simply no way to convince him, even if I show up with stacks of medical documentation. His mind is set on the fact that marijuana, video games and polygamic relationships are evil. The worst is that my dad has as much education as a rocket scientist and yet he fails to stay objective.

Do video games make children violent?

Hitler didn't have access to a PlayStation and yet he killed 6 million Jews. Let's face it, humans have always been violent. I think that gang rituals and social inadequacies make children more prone to have a criminal career than an Italian plumber jumping on floating boxes. Kids are inspired by the little things of life; whichever examples crosses their minds are the ones they will follow. If a toddler watches a police movie, sooner or later he will be playing cops and robbers with friends. Only the ones stuck in specific environments end up as hardcore criminals. My belief is that society, upbringing and emotional instability is a larger determining factor than video games.

This guy killed more than you without using a console.


Do video games make you fat?

Are you serious? If you don't have a balanced lifestyle like going to the gym and occasionally dating random girls, you will get fat and ugly. Blaming video games for weight problems is like blaming books for muscle atrophy, it’s just stupid. I play tons of video games and still find 5-6 hours every week to lift some weights and do the bare minimum when it comes to aerobic exercise.
Why complicate the simple?


Do you learn anything from playing video games?

To be honest, I have probably learned more from video games than I have during high school. If your mind gets absorbed by, let's say, a war game. I can bet you that by the end of that game you will know all the weaponry, jargon and campaigns without breaking a sweat. One cannot expect to learn nothing from playing a game which offers so much vocabulary in settings other than your common 21st century metropolitan life. Video games gave me so much, not only from the point of view of words and ideas but also expanded my imagination beyond horizons that I wouldn't have attained otherwise.

Where should I start?

The only way to find a game that’s appropriate for you is to either download the demo version online or try it out for yourself or simply to go on websites such as www.gamespot.com and check out the reviews. I personally trust Gamespot, because I have found their reviews to be very objective and the fact that fat nerds do them increases their credibility in the matter.

Next time I hear a bitch or an old geezer complaining about video games, I will dickslap them in the face. Get your facts straight! As long as it doesn't stop you from going to work, staying healthy, getting a proper education and being successful in relationships, why stop?


Peter.M
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LetsNotBullShit Blog by Peter Masalski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://letsnotbullshit.blogspot.com/.


You don't know shit about meditation!


If you were expecting to find some Buddha bullshit, you better press "backspace" and get the hell out of this page. Meditation has nothing to do with obese monks or the arcane ideas of some wild barefoot populous dancing around campfires. The idea of meditation is probably older than any existing religion and didn't even have to be invented. The moment you close your eyes without falling asleep is the moment you technically start meditating. Yeah, that’s right! The moment you lay back after smoking that fat blunt is the moment you are travelling within the confines of your own mind.

Not to confuse you with Tibetan monks, the Dalai Lama and all those other robe wearing bald headed rice eaters. I shall quickly supply you with a rough definition of who Buddha was:

A long long time ago, there was prince who wanted to find peace of mind. One day, he left his castle and as he was walking through the many towns of his kingdom, he noticed much pain and suffering. He began meditating and following the local teachings as to find an answer to all the pain and suffering in the world. He meditated so much that he got rid of all his inner needs allowing him to reach a state (not the music band) called "Nirvana". To cure the poverty and suffering, he used his influence and wealth to propagate his teachings; and he wasn't obese but on the contrary quite slim and frail.
Buddha actually looks like your typical Bollywood actor.
 
Trailerpark westerners often confuse Buddha with Budai which is actually an Asian god of wealth and good luck.


Budai's before picture following the Atkins diet.

Meditation is a tool that Buddhists use. You don't need to be a Buddhist or as a matter of fact religious to meditate.

Meditation can cure: 

- High Blood Pressure
- Stress
- Restlessness
- Unnecessary emotions
- Lack of objectivity
- Anxiety
- PMS (not sure about this one)


How to meditate?

The real way to do it, is to close your eyes and to try to block all incoming sensory to your brain. How do I do that? You simply imagine something neutral which isn't associated with anything at all to prevent your brain from initiating a slide show of all the garbage that’s in your skull. So you must focus on the "neutral symbol" (I use a white wall) for it to stay there. The moment you stop visualizing it, is the moment your brain goes back to ADHD. Another recurring problem while meditating are the sounds your head produces. When you read the following, do you read it out loud in your head? This sound is actually quite damaging to a meditative state of mind. A good way to stop it, would be to repeat a neutral word or maybe a mantra (oohhhmmmmm) in your head or out loud. I haven't explored all the details yet, but I think mantras are useless. If the whole mystical approach helps you to get results faster, please carry on! , but I personally try to stay as far away from epiphanies as possible.

The final element is the oxygen input you get from breathing which has been used by the airline industry to tranquilize the most hysterical passengers. It serves as a drug which slows down your mind even more, and sometimes up to such a point where you feel trapped inside a cage of nothingness. The possibilities are endless here; you can block your visual and auditory senses with almost anything that doesn't remind you of former lovers which might excite your emotions. After keeping this lack of visual, auditory and emotional stimuli for 15 minutes, you will notice a sudden release from all thoughts.

The moment you will open your eyes will be the moment you will look at the world and say "Damn, I really don't give 2 cents about anything" and this, my friend, is called Nirvana. The moment you desire to have more money, more sex, and more friends is the moment you fall depressed due to your inability to obtain it. And even if you do get what you want? Do you really believe that you won't want more? The reason people keep longing for more is a survival mechanism that allows us to wake up in the morning and find the motivation to leave our house with a purpose. A person without constant needs of betterment wouldn't find the strength to live. For real-life examples; such individuals can be found in front or behind your local liquor store. 


Kurt Kobain meditating using the "smells like a teen spirit " mantra , too bad it didn't work.


For more info and medical statistics showing how patients improved: please visit: http://www.tm.org/.

Mind the fancy names such as “Transcendal” or “Mantra” meditation; meditation is meditation.
If you wish to try meditation without any of the underlying religious philosophies, try not to get too in depth. What I provided here is more than sufficient. The next time you feel love or hatred towards someone, sit down and try it out for 15 minutes. Results guaranteed!


Peter.M
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LetsNotBullShit Blog by Peter Masalski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://letsnotbullshit.blogspot.com/.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Ugly? Stupid? Blame your parents!


Throughout my many years of existence on the surface of this planet, I concluded that genetics and a proper early development contribute to a better and easier life in the future. Beforehand, let’s skip the topic of genetics knowing that it has nothing to do with choice but rather with the wheel of fate.

They failed to make you attractive:

Those thoughts came to me after having a couple of beers with my friend. We were endlessly debating about how alcohol contributes to massive weight gain and that some have 6-packs abs while others struggle to maintain an ideal body weight and whether it was possible to drink and maintain an attractive weight.  Looking at different medical explanations of how some individuals are insulin sensitive, store more fat content due to larger numbers of fat cells and simply bulk up in specific areas, I concluded that ours parents should be blamed for this. Our bodies were conditioned to starve rather than to binge drink and eat. How can parents stuff their children with chips, fries and gravy sauce three times a day? Well, because they don’t have time to prepare anything less caloric, so they end up saving time by preparing processed food.

Ask yourself this question? Have you ever seen a fat animal in the wild? In all of the animal kingdom, I have never seen a fat wolf or a fat tiger, but I have seen overweight house pets. This forces me to conclude that “we humans” are responsible for this. The truth is that if anyone ate non-processed food three to five times a day, the chance of becoming overweight would decrease exponentially. The idea of having a slim male with a six pack hasn’t changed since The Greeks came out of the closet. What we describe as sexy and attractive nowadays has been going on since the beginning of mankind.

You want your kids to be slim and well built? Send them to the swimming pool a couple times a week and allow them to eat as much non-processed food as they wish. Muscles need to grow, but they don’t grow with pizza and hamburgers. Kids are young and they don’t really understand what they are eating yet. Don’t get me wrong, as a kid I loved Coca-Cola and Oreo Crispy Cookies, but this was at an age when discipline was the least of my concerns. Now I have to pay the price with extra cardio and dedication to overcome what my parents failed to do.

My definition of non-processed food: Everything nature has given in its purest form.  Having chocolate once in a while isn’t the end of the world, but it should be controlled in order to escape any forms of regularity. After the child becomes an adult with a proper muscular built and a fast metabolism, the sky is the limit. Nights of binge drinking will be swept away by the inner caloric furnace. On the other hand, starving your kid also limits their development, growth and ability for their body to shape up as they normally would. This is why you sometimes see very skinny girls who appear to be malnourished and believe me when I say that their bodies are far from being attractive. Life is about balance and understanding, the more we mess around with nature, the more we get external results which change us forever. Next time you have kids, feed them proper food without starving them and send them to exercise a couple times a week until they grow big enough to make their own decisions.

Can you tell that this cat spent way too much time with humans?


They failed to make you smart:

This is a very difficult topic, but in order to get smart kids you need to involve yourself intellectually.  My dad used to share his life experiences and things that made others things tick. He taught me many concepts from ways of thinking to historical facts. After a while he kicked me out of the house in order for me to fend for myself.  I left home with a sense of universal understanding rather than uncertainty and fear.

Extracurricular activities are also great ideas for your kids, but make sure you plan for them to attend until the end. Signing your kids up for one semester will just give them an overview of what it would have been like. We all know a certain someone who plays the piano magnificently because his parents took the liberty of signing him up for regular piano lessons when he was young. We don’t all have to learn to play the piano, but most don’t understand that the more you expose your kids for a prolonged period of time, the more skillful and competent they become in the future. Children who often have bilingual parents develop language skills without even trying, but look at the timescale it takes. If you signed up your kid for piano lessons, dancing lessons and singing lessons (once a week) from an earlier age, the results would be astonishing 15 years later. Your kid would literally be a walking gig, tearing apart everyone during karaoke night.

If you neither have the time nor the money to involve yourself, at least try to expose them as regularly as possible. Don’t bother listening to your kids, they don’t know shit. They should be kept quiet and be forced to do what is demanded of them. The worst is that when they grow up, they won’t even appreciate what you have done for them. If you can’t dedicate 5-10 hours for your kids weekly in order to teach them something, you should have worn a condom. In all sanity, don't overdue it like Micheal Jackson's dad who literally robbed his son of his precious childhood.

Talking about demanding fathers, he probably thinks "The Thriller Album" sucked ass!
Emotional values are also quite important, but I think its just a question of balancing what your kid wants to do with what he doesn't. Once in a a while, you should give your kid a break, but don't overdue it. Its funny how Micheal never appreciated how much of a badass he was at dancing and singing thanks to his dad.

Peter.M
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LetsNotBullShit Blog by Peter Masalski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://letsnotbullshit.blogspot.com/.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Couch Surfing or Cooch Surfing? : The subtle way to be a love tourist.

Hey,

Do you love travelling but don't have the proper finances to purchase plane tickets, food and accomodation abroad? No worries!, Couch Surfing is there for you! Yet again, there is another service this organisation can provide which combines the pleasures of sightseeing with the pleasures of the flesh.

Some of you may be wondering what "cooch surfing" means?, well let's just say that "cooch" is an Americanism for "vagina" and the name implies that somehow traveling and casual sex have something in common. If you have ever used "Couch Surfing" or as a matter of fact attended any of the meetings, you probably understood that there is more than meets the eye when seeing an Italian guy with a Russian girl talking about travelling. Travelling my ass! The only travelling involved are the itchy cavities stuffed the night before.

According to Wikipedia the main use of couch surfing should be as following:

Couch Surfing provides censored forums where members may seek travel partners or advice. Couch Surfing’s main focus is "social networking" and members organize activities such as camping trips, bar crawls, meetings, and sporting events.

I have designed the new banner for their official website.



If some of you have never had the opportunity to take a look at what couch surfing is, go visit their website at www.couchsurfing.org.

It all sounds great but it couldn't be further from the truth, based on some of my observations and a few female acquaintances. Couch surfing actually serves as a way for people to date foreigners. Statistically speaking, the average girl who is a devoted user of CS has had a couple of ethnic partners here and there. If you don't believe me, ask any of the dedicated (regular) members if they have been involved sexually or romantically with a foreign fantasy of their choice. I have personally gathered intel in regards to this matter and I am sorry to say that more than half use it as a dating site rather than to actually travel. Since when do young guys travel to poor countries in order to see the fauna and flora of the jungle? Instead, they opt for ways to score as much as they can before the girls realize that long distance relationships don't work. By then, the guy is gone never to be heard from again. Who can blame them; life is short and full unexpected situations.

I used to be a regular at one of the couch surfing meetings and after spending a couple of months attending on a week to week basis, I knew all the relationship gossips. How is it possible that after attending such meetings, I knew more about who banged who, then throughout my lengthy university years? At every meeting the senior members couldn't wait for the fresh meat to arrive, but it came in such scarce amounts that most of the time they were behaving like a pack of hungry wolves trying to seduce whatever came into sight.

The fact that people love foreigners hasn't changed much since the beginning of mankind. Sure, some of us despise them but mostly out of jealousy. I mean I saw girls chasing short chubby bald Latin Europeans instead of their handsome native counterparts. You can't fight the stupidity; you can only learn to deal with it. Therefore, you might as well book a plane to Thailand, spam couch surfing under the false pretense that you want to see the city and then do some damage all over the place.

I have even had friends who purposely offered their couch a couple times a month in order to get laid within the very comfort of their own home. Let's look at it from an objective angle. Firstly the visitor (mostly girls) spends most of his or her time with you far away from her judgmental friends. Secondly, she or he then enjoys the nightlife which increases exposure to regular booze intake which has been known for centuries to cure lepers from dry spells of sexlessness. Finally, since she sleeps in your flat, the chance of having those moments of weakness increase dramatically. I could keep going on and on about the many reasons why, but it would be pointless as your perhaps already get the idea.

Why did I put "mostly girls" in parentheses? As a girl your chance of getting replies from men quadruples. I mean, I’m a normal looking guy with interesting things to say but it’s all pointless because guys don't host guys and half the girls are afraid for their own security. Since men are risk takers, the moment a girl sends them a message via CS, they only have to accept with accompanying smiley faces and the work is done.

However, there are certain individuals who treat it as it is but let's face it, just because some are honest about the original intent of this website, doesn't mean we all have to act like we don't know what it is for. If you have been enlightened by this article, next time you use couch surfing or talk about it amongst friends, don't pretend like you use it solely to travel. The greatest way for you to show your support would be to call it by its true name: "Cooch Surfing".


Peter.M Creative Commons License
LetsNotBullShit Blog by Peter Masalski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://letsnotbullshit.blogspot.com/.