Thursday, January 3, 2013

Couch Surfing or Cooch Surfing? : The subtle way to be a love tourist.


Do you love travelling but don't have the proper finances to purchase plane tickets, food and accomodation abroad? No worries!, Couch Surfing is there for you! Yet again, there is another service this organisation can provide which combines the pleasures of sightseeing with the pleasures of the flesh.

Some of you may be wondering what "cooch surfing" means?, well let's just say that "cooch" is an Americanism for "vagina" and the name implies that somehow traveling and casual sex have something in common. If you have ever used "Couch Surfing" or as a matter of fact attended any of the meetings, you probably understood that there is more than meets the eye when seeing an Italian guy with a Russian girl talking about travelling. Travelling my ass! The only travelling involved are the itchy cavities stuffed the night before.

According to Wikipedia the main use of couch surfing should be as following:

Couch Surfing provides censored forums where members may seek travel partners or advice. Couch Surfing’s main focus is "social networking" and members organize activities such as camping trips, bar crawls, meetings, and sporting events.

I have designed the new banner for their official website.

If some of you have never had the opportunity to take a look at what couch surfing is, go visit their website at

It all sounds great but it couldn't be further from the truth, based on some of my observations and a few female acquaintances. Couch surfing actually serves as a way for people to date foreigners. Statistically speaking, the average girl who is a devoted user of CS has had a couple of ethnic partners here and there. If you don't believe me, ask any of the dedicated (regular) members if they have been involved sexually or romantically with a foreign fantasy of their choice. I have personally gathered intel in regards to this matter and I am sorry to say that more than half use it as a dating site rather than to actually travel. Since when do young guys travel to poor countries in order to see the fauna and flora of the jungle? Instead, they opt for ways to score as much as they can before the girls realize that long distance relationships don't work. By then, the guy is gone never to be heard from again. Who can blame them; life is short and full unexpected situations.

I used to be a regular at one of the couch surfing meetings and after spending a couple of months attending on a week to week basis, I knew all the relationship gossips. How is it possible that after attending such meetings, I knew more about who banged who, then throughout my lengthy university years? At every meeting the senior members couldn't wait for the fresh meat to arrive, but it came in such scarce amounts that most of the time they were behaving like a pack of hungry wolves trying to seduce whatever came into sight.

The fact that people love foreigners hasn't changed much since the beginning of mankind. Sure, some of us despise them but mostly out of jealousy. I mean I saw girls chasing short chubby bald Latin Europeans instead of their handsome native counterparts. You can't fight the stupidity; you can only learn to deal with it. Therefore, you might as well book a plane to Thailand, spam couch surfing under the false pretense that you want to see the city and then do some damage all over the place.

I have even had friends who purposely offered their couch a couple times a month in order to get laid within the very comfort of their own home. Let's look at it from an objective angle. Firstly the visitor (mostly girls) spends most of his or her time with you far away from her judgmental friends. Secondly, she or he then enjoys the nightlife which increases exposure to regular booze intake which has been known for centuries to cure lepers from dry spells of sexlessness. Finally, since she sleeps in your flat, the chance of having those moments of weakness increase dramatically. I could keep going on and on about the many reasons why, but it would be pointless as your perhaps already get the idea.

Why did I put "mostly girls" in parentheses? As a girl your chance of getting replies from men quadruples. I mean, I’m a normal looking guy with interesting things to say but it’s all pointless because guys don't host guys and half the girls are afraid for their own security. Since men are risk takers, the moment a girl sends them a message via CS, they only have to accept with accompanying smiley faces and the work is done.

However, there are certain individuals who treat it as it is but let's face it, just because some are honest about the original intent of this website, doesn't mean we all have to act like we don't know what it is for. If you have been enlightened by this article, next time you use couch surfing or talk about it amongst friends, don't pretend like you use it solely to travel. The greatest way for you to show your support would be to call it by its true name: "Cooch Surfing".

Peter.M Creative Commons License
LetsNotBullShit Blog by Peter Masalski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at

No comments:

Post a Comment